This Site is Dedicated to My Random Thoughts and Opinion
Reader Be Warned: My Opinion is NOT the "norm"
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Over the past few years, I have noticed a tremendous "growth" in my attitude. I do not find the need or desire to respond to everybody and everything. There once was a time, that I could slice someone with my tongue without even thinking about the words that came from my mouth. I usually didn't realize how bad the words would hurt those I spewed them at and I most certainly did not care. It took my Godmother, my children's father and my children themselves, to shine light on how cutting my words were to other people. When they would hear my vicious tongue lashes they would later call me out on them. Again, early on I did not care what damage my words would do to people because my harsh words were always given as a response. A response to someone else's words or actions that I felt - earned them the words that spewed from my mouth.
Then, I was able to experience this behavior first-hand. In the beginning I found it "interesting" and maybe even a bit comforting to know I was not the only person that exhibit this behavior (at its best). Although the person did not hurt me with his verbal attacks, I was able to see first hand how vicious words can be when he committed these attacks on others. When we had our "word battles" I would brush his word off and return with words even more harmful. After our encounters, I began to think of ways to harm him, even more, the next time around. I grew very competitive with going back and forth with this person. Then, over time, it became exhausting. The "excitement" and challenge of the word fighting was not interesting any more. It was brutal and our vicious words became extremely malicious. We both admitted that most of the verbal vicious tongue lashings were not always words we felt were true - most often, we knew/thought/HOPED the words would be very damaging to the person(s) on the receiving end. I finally decided I did not want to inflict this much pain on people anymore. Especially those whom I love. I prayed about it. I asked God to allow me to think before I spoke/responded - no matter who the person was and what they have said or done. It took practice and I failed at time. Other times, I would walk away from situations with a grin on my face and talking to the inner me, saying "Good job!" or "If only he/she knew that I could tear them down in less than 2 minutes"... Now, as time has passed, I see so much growth in my attitude. I don't NEED to respond to everybody and everything. I don't DESIRE to even let them see that side of me. Some would say I have grown to be more mature. I would say I have grown in the "IJDGAF" category. Either way, I think its positive growth.
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AuthorThe author of this blog decided to take her "abnormal" thoughts and opinions to the web. This will begin as a 30 day trial. Let's see where it goes. Archives
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