This Site is Dedicated to My Random Thoughts and Opinion
Reader Be Warned: My Opinion is NOT the "norm"
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![]() If you keep doing the same thing over and over - then you should expect the same results. There is nothing like taking a breath of fresh air. My man once told me that dating me was like a "breath of fresh air". He's not a man of many words and when he does speak - it's usually his truth. It took me a minute to understand what he meant by the phrase. He doesn't speak on past relationships but his actions and expectations of a "woman" spoke volumes in the beginning of our relationship. Yet, it didn't take long for me to realize that he was my breath of fresh air, as well. You see, we often become accustomed to how people treat us in relationships. We tend to think that "this" is what all relationships are like. Sometimes we select the same person over and over again, in a different body. We began to expect certain behavior(s) from our partner. Then, if you're lucky enough, this person comes along and opens your eyes to a different type of behavior. All men are not the same, neither are women. And when you get that "breath of fresh air" , then you know it's real.
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Every year there seems to be a growing number of high school graduates that pursue their college dreams. There are college initiatives and programs aimed to assist students that transition to college, yet there is still a high rate of college drop-outs and freshmen with low academic performance. So, what is the solution?
Of course there is no single solution to this problem, but I believe that earlier interventions at the high school level are necessary. There should be workshops and initiatives aimed to assist students that plan to transition to college. Many students, especially minority students and students that are first-generation students have never stepped foot on a college campus - let alone do they know what to expect when they arrive to campus. All of the welcome videos and college virtual tours, CAN NOT prepare a student for what they will need to be successful in college. It's time for a focus on college preparation to happen at the high school level. Preparation beyond academics. Preparation that includes the skills needed, the best practices and how to find resources at the college the student attends. I've noticed a trend of students starting college and not persisting past the first year. Many of the challenges they face are: lack of family support, poor time management, ineffective study habits and lack of preparation. The road to college completion can be improved for those students that are under prepared. IT'S TIME! Let's face it - most people do not "grow" out of their character. Most people do not complete a full 180 in a lifetime. Instead they do a 360 and go right back to who they always were.
Some of us grew up with parents and relatives that were: petty, manipulative, two-faced, habitual liars, sluts, whores, and so on. It was a norm for us until we learned differently. Yet, some of us took on theses characteristics and others despise them and strive to do better. I say all of this to say: NO ONE grows too old to be who they are. Whores will be whores, just as habitual liars will continue to be habitual liars. Change comes will acceptance of ones flaws, acknowledgement of ones flaws, desire to change, and action! So let go of the phrase, "Isn't he/she old to still act like that" followed by "I thought he/she would have grown out of that by now". Today was a day that I was reminded NOT to doubt myself.
I can accomplish anything I put my mind to. #GoalAchiever There are people that will compete with you and you are not aware that there is a competition going on.
How can you compete in a race you never began? How can you compete in a race that you have already completed and moved on from? It's comical when comparisons are made between people that are NOT COMPARABLE. When they can't beat you NOR join you - they will make up their own competition. And their supporters will cheer them on. I do not compete with any one - never have and never will. I set my own personal goals. I have always set out to accomplish things others say are impossible. I defy odds and set bars. There are a lot of terms that are interchanged - but do not mean the same.
Phony = Being polite. Example: Telling everyone that a baby is awkward looking but telling the parents - "Aww she is so cute" Blunt = Shady Example: "I do not care to be around Stacy because she is negative". Honest = Hating/Jealous Example: "He is not attractive, to me." If you are "being polite" and you make a statement opposite of your belief - YOU ARE A LIAR. One can not be blunt and shady, at the same time. The shady person is usually the one that reads into the blunt person's statement. Lastly, everyone's opinion of people, places or things are NOT the same. Just because someone doesn't like someone or something the same as you - does not mean they are hating or jealous. You only live once and you can't please everybody while you are here. So why even try? I say to hell with those that don't appreciate you within your time and to hell with those that are too hard to please. If you spend your life trying to please and make everyone else happy - who will please you?
By no means am I suggesting that you should be selfish or self-centered. All I am saying is do not waste time altering who you are to please others. Yes, we all have things we can improve, but unless you have an unhealthy habit or cause harm to others - do not change who you are to please others. Surround yourself with people that can understand who you are and support you - as you are. I be damned if I spend my only life trying to please others. I believe Y.O.L.O. so, DO YOU! So, I recently had a conversation with a loved one who told me that I would be a better person if I learned how to not hold grudges against people that have wronged me. I informed my love one that I do not hold grudges, I just remember. I remember what a person has said and done and I make sure I do not put myself in the position to allow that to be said or done to me again.
That is not a grudge - it's more like self-protection. I have never been able to understand how people forgive and forget so fast. They continue to be mistreated and fall victim to the same person(s), time and time again. I most definitely can and will forgive those that apologize for their wrongdoings AND I never forget what s/he is capable of doing again. You can fool me once - but the second time I am just the fool. I do not play the role of Fool very well, so I simply remember. The definitions for both terms as defined by Dictionary.com are below. grudge noun
verb
When I was in my dating phase a few years ago, I ran across two guys that lived in two different states who happened to have the same logic of being a "hot commodity" on the dating market. Both of these men explained to me that they were a "hot commodity". They both were single black men who obtained a college education, gainfully employed, had no kids, never been married, did not live with their parents and had their own dependable ride.
I was very puzzled the first time I heard this explanation of how this labeled him as a "hot commodity". I thought all of these were characteristics and/or accomplishments of a grown ass man. I expressed that and was informed that it is not the characteristics and/or accomplishments of the average black man. So this, in turn made him a "hot commodity". By the second time I heard this, with the exact same explanation, I had to ask the second guy where he obtained this information. I asked was there a group for black males where this information was being shared. He laughed and told me "No, it's just known that the average black man does not have these qualities". Needless to say,over five years later, these two hot commodities are still sitting on the shelf with all of their qualities/characteristics/accomplishments. They are both still single black males who are educated, gainfully employed, have no kids, never been married, do not live with their parents (although one has a male roommate), and have a dependable ride. I think it's time they check their shelf life because a hot commodity doesn't stay on the shelf very long. Time is something that we can never regain. So I personally hate to have wasted time.
I feel as though my time is wasted when I invest in people and things that are counterproductive. I do not give my time to people that are negative, manipulative, deceitful, or purposefully petty. As each day, each month, each year passes by, I try to assure that I continue to invest my time appropriately. Even if it means cutting some people out. I also let go of unproductive activities. As I grow older, I improve my list of priorities. My goal is to eliminate all wasted time. |
AuthorThe author of this blog decided to take her "abnormal" thoughts and opinions to the web. This will begin as a 30 day trial. Let's see where it goes. Archives
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